The Pens finally won their first game at Consol Energy Center, which means all the bandwagon fans can shut up and stop whining. So what if they lost the first game on the new ice. So what they lost the second game ever played in the new $300 million arena. Get over it Scott Ferrall! It will be something to look back and laugh at when they lift that cup up again for hoist number four.
Now that we got that behind us, let’s get ready for the winning season ahead with some new Pens gear and knick-knacks. Here we have a collection of all the must have Pittsburgh Penguins memorabilia (and crap) that true fans absolutely must have – some are definitely “wtf” material. Click the pictures to buy:
Pittsburgh Penguins Pro Toast Toaster
It doesn’t matter that 90% of the bread doesn’t get toasted, because the other 10% is branded with a burnt Pens logo! If you don’t have one of these bad boys in your kitchen, you are a bandwagon fan for sure.
Pittsburgh Penguins Apron and Pot Holders
Another must have kitchen accessory. Your Pens toast from above wouldn’t be possible without this master chef set of Pens potholders and apron! It’s listed as a tailgate set, but we all know there’s no where good to tailgate at the Consol, so leave these at home where they belong.
Halloween is right around the corner, so if you are a Pens fan and live outside of Pittsburgh, order this costume now to get “biggest d-bag” status in your town. Even better, wear a blue Pens jersey over it and carry a hockey stick.
I Only Date Pens Fans
You can put it out there what your type of guy is with this officially licensed Pittsburgh Penguins shirt. It makes it clear that you only date Pittsburgh Penguins fans.
Pittsburgh Penguins Ulti-Mat
If you don’t already have one of these Pittsburgh Penguins Ulti-Mat you are missing out! You don’t know how much fun it is to roll up to a random parking lot, unroll the mat, and stare at it. It sure beats watching the game on TV.
Pens Checking Buddy Punching Bag
This 40″ inflatable punching bag is perfect to have around the house during games like the first two home games. Instead of taking out your rage on your spouse or loved one, go over to your Checking Buddy and give him a real ass whoopin’. Watch out though, it bounces back after you knock it down, just like the Pens!
Pittsburgh Penguins Puke Bucket
Like the punching bag above, we also recommend keeping this one close-by. We’ll call it the puke bucket. Excellent for those intense moments when Fleury (we heart you Flower) skates behind the net for way too long and keeps everyone on the edge of their seats. Stop doing that shiznat!
This one is perfect for the hill at Crazy Park. Do they still sled ride over there in the winter? It might also be fun to tie it behind a jet ski on the Mon. If you do, be sure to keep your mouth wide open to let all the nutrient packed brown water splash in.
Pittsburgh Penguins Temp Tattoo
This has got to be the temporary tattoo of all temporary tattoos. Cracker Jack’s can’t touch this, and neither can you. You’re not cool enough. Neither are we.
Penguins Capsule Necklace
This is called a “dream capsule” that you are supposed to put a note inside with an aspiration you want to see manifested in the universe – for example, “please let the Pens win the next game on home ice”… but instead, maybe it should be used for a cyanide tablet in case they don’t win the next game on home ice.
More to come, check the update later… right now we’re off to post the Zombie Opera Preview!!!